So I realized last night after exercising...my Zeken starts Preschool next year. I can not express my freak out ness. Ever since my son was born, we have been together, taking napes together, cuddling, reading skippy, playing together and when his sister was born closer than ever. I think this is why he listens to me more than his father. Every morning he is in my room waking me up or snuggling close to me. He is my lil man.
But the fact next year around this time we will be getting a school list and such...scares me. I have always been very wary about people watching my kids. They are my everything. To trust them with even a teacher is a bit cruel to me. I think ill be the one dropping him off and crying my eyes out. Maybe even David too.
So that means I need to step up as a mommy and actually use time to teach him again. It kinda faded out when we potty trained. So I just order tons more flashcards and a Brain Quest. I am hoping he likes them. I also need to get him a dry erase board so he can prepare some more. He can already count so numbers are good. It just he makes up his own words for things sometimes lol. and It is very hard to get him away from them. But we will prevail.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
Juicing and Humongous couch!
I wonder at times why I have such a huge couch. This may seem random but cleaning it takes about 6 hours to do it right. Called washing all the cover which in total comes to 11 covers, plus throwing all the pillows in the dryer for 10 min with dryer sheets plus sweeping off all the parts you sit on plus sweeping them, wash the blankets I put on them to prevent dog fur and to well you get the point a lot of work. Too much in fact. We are buying a new couch so it is a lot easier in this department. I guess since it is a 3000 dollar couch it better take 6 hours to clean lol. Plus it came with 12 pillows for the couch. I use only 3 of the decorated part. Its just a pain to have that many pillows.
Though I love the new rug my husband picked out. I plan on getting the runner and the little one. Suppose to be stain proof. Well I think we will find that out really soon, I am surprised nothing has been spilled on it yet. Knock on wood hopefully doesn't happen soon.
I have picked up a new hobby. In preparation for getting a blue Quaker .
I have gotten a juicer and started making Juice for me and my birds. First one was Cucumber with apples..seeds removed...Tasted delicious and my parakeets love it! I was so excited when they were drinking it. Next I made orange juice yum and Watermelon, Strawberry, Kiwi and Apple Drink and I adore it. I made a half gallon of it. I quite enjoy making juice and having my birds love it just makes me squeal with delight. Yes, my birds are spoiled but in a good way. I can say lately I am really enjoying my life. Laughing together and holding hands is my favorite.
Well since it is naptime I need to play some Lego Pirates.
Though I love the new rug my husband picked out. I plan on getting the runner and the little one. Suppose to be stain proof. Well I think we will find that out really soon, I am surprised nothing has been spilled on it yet. Knock on wood hopefully doesn't happen soon.
I have picked up a new hobby. In preparation for getting a blue Quaker .
I have gotten a juicer and started making Juice for me and my birds. First one was Cucumber with apples..seeds removed...Tasted delicious and my parakeets love it! I was so excited when they were drinking it. Next I made orange juice yum and Watermelon, Strawberry, Kiwi and Apple Drink and I adore it. I made a half gallon of it. I quite enjoy making juice and having my birds love it just makes me squeal with delight. Yes, my birds are spoiled but in a good way. I can say lately I am really enjoying my life. Laughing together and holding hands is my favorite.
Well since it is naptime I need to play some Lego Pirates.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Lovely Day
Starting on this friday I spent most of my time watching a dear friend get married.
Watching someone get dressed for the happiest day of there life is exciting. Reminds me of how much my vows mean to me. We really had some moments watching will and lauren getting married. I got to sit with Wills grandparents who were the sweetest and funniest people. I sat with them at the reception too. It was defiantly worth it. The food was great, the bride was lovely and Will is Will. I met a lot of people at this wedding that will forever be in my heart.
Watching someone get dressed for the happiest day of there life is exciting. Reminds me of how much my vows mean to me. We really had some moments watching will and lauren getting married. I got to sit with Wills grandparents who were the sweetest and funniest people. I sat with them at the reception too. It was defiantly worth it. The food was great, the bride was lovely and Will is Will. I met a lot of people at this wedding that will forever be in my heart.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
When you have kids..
You learn a lot of things.
...How amazingly breakable a tv is
...How flooded a tv can be
...How fun water is
...if you clean expect to clean again
...colored bubbles are the devil
...diapers may leave the butt
...poop may be on a wall
...toilets have to be clean because they are fun to put object in
...phones can make it great distances
..nail polish is fun
...sometimes crayons are funnier to break than use
...sometimes biting is exceptionable
...learn to love cartoons
...take the word no with a grain of salt
...dishes are just a fact
...clean clothes only happen when taken off
...bottles leak, whether or not the are expensive
...Sippies are not indestructible or leak proof
..anything Baby proof should be called Your kid will figure this out
...Attack kid
...Breast milk smells good, just not in an old bottle under the couch
...colostrum matches an orange bottle
...teeth when breastfeeding sucks...
...No animal is safe
..clothes are optional
...Your bed is there bed
...food will be flung
...water will end up in wierd places
...you will be tested
...potty training is lovely
...sibling fighting is expected
...You are a play mate.
..Time out is a funny concept..
That is all for now
...How amazingly breakable a tv is
...How flooded a tv can be
...How fun water is
...if you clean expect to clean again
...colored bubbles are the devil
...diapers may leave the butt
...poop may be on a wall
...toilets have to be clean because they are fun to put object in
...phones can make it great distances
..nail polish is fun
...sometimes crayons are funnier to break than use
...sometimes biting is exceptionable
...learn to love cartoons
...take the word no with a grain of salt
...dishes are just a fact
...clean clothes only happen when taken off
...bottles leak, whether or not the are expensive
...Sippies are not indestructible or leak proof
..anything Baby proof should be called Your kid will figure this out
...Attack kid
...Breast milk smells good, just not in an old bottle under the couch
...colostrum matches an orange bottle
...teeth when breastfeeding sucks...
...No animal is safe
..clothes are optional
...Your bed is there bed
...food will be flung
...water will end up in wierd places
...you will be tested
...potty training is lovely
...sibling fighting is expected
...You are a play mate.
..Time out is a funny concept..
That is all for now
The reason I live!!!
These are the reason I live, I breathe, I eat, I am meant too be. Art things tomorrow. Lorilye Zanny and Ezeckial Zacchreus..
They are my world. I have to be reminded from time to time even in tough times life is great.
Awesome, Goal Hitting
Whooo! Hit my water goal of 122 fluid ounces!
Bicycling - stationary, light
856 calories in 1 hr 30 min
Goal for tomorrow which I got up to alot before
Bicycling - stationary, moderate
1,090 calories in 1 hr 30 min
12-13 mph so I pretty much did that today..but you know..Ill consider I stayed in the light catergory
Bicycling - stationary, light
856 calories in 1 hr 30 min
Goal for tomorrow which I got up to alot before
Bicycling - stationary, moderate
1,090 calories in 1 hr 30 min
12-13 mph so I pretty much did that today..but you know..Ill consider I stayed in the light catergory
Sweating my friend...ahhh yes
I also run in the morning for a maybe 15-30 minutes with my dogs and go through a crunch drill. It is so good to be back to normal..Haha. Reaching for the stars again!
Monday, June 20, 2011
Two different worlds
Today I was cleaning up my toddlers rooms getting ready to create my 2nd ever garage sale. Last year I got 400$ dollars from my garage sale. This year I probably have 10 times more baby/toddler things and mostly we have already gotten ride of things that were just not used. It is a big relief to have a garage sale. Get rid of the old and make way for the new.
My family never had garage sales, went to goodwill, or even savers. I grew up in a family were we basically got what we wanted. We ate so much good food and dressed in the best. Contrary, to my husband whose family didn't have much money. He told me they didn't even have like pork chops or steak or really meat. They went to those places. I never really understood that lifestyle, due to how I grew up. Even our houses we grew up in are completely different worlds. Money has been an after thought my whole life, were as David's family were strapped. When I was growing up we did not even go to walmart...due to my families...Grandpa is a buisness attorney that fights for those peoples rights.
I will even say I love Goodwill and Savers...I love finding treasures. I love finding things that are unique and unusual. I love to be in shock and awe over something that is just amazing. Or things that you can fix up and make them 10x better. I still go to the mall for my clothes, target, or other places. I love to garage sale. I meet people and have some great conversations. Get things for cheap that look great. I enjoy going out with my friends to find some great things. One time we saw two old woman walking away from a garage sale while we drove up. Looked at Amber and said that is going to be us. Shes like yup I know. Haha. I may not have grown up with this stuff in my life but I am going to enjoy showing this stuff to my children.
My husband is part Owner of a Agricultural Construction Company. This is an all year round job. Business has picked up in the last years. Its a small company maybe 10 guys that work there. Pay is good, benefits are great, and bonuses are awesome. So with the upcoming years when we buy a house. Our kids will not have to share a room(Like David's family) I grew up in a house where I had a huge room and my own bathroom. My kids will only have the best. We will both make sure of that. My parents made sure my brother and I got the best. Having two kids it is hard but I think they will be grateful of what we have become.
I was pregnant when I was 18. Nobody thought we were gonna be okay. His parents and one of his brothers badmouthed us and didn't believe in us. We were too young and they didn't know anything that was going on. Needless to say..we have done everything by ourselves. Even the part were I am a stay at home mom. We have never borrowed money from anyone in our family. We have learned to do everything by ourselves. Two kids later, we own a trailer, we pay our bills, we own a nice car and we did this.
All types of people come from different backgrounds. It doesn't matter what you come from. It matters what you do with all that you have learned. Matters what your life is know and how hard you are trying to reach the stars. My husband and I may have come from two different worlds...but we bring two different perspectives to our marriage and our kids. It makes things easy to put the pieces together.
My family never had garage sales, went to goodwill, or even savers. I grew up in a family were we basically got what we wanted. We ate so much good food and dressed in the best. Contrary, to my husband whose family didn't have much money. He told me they didn't even have like pork chops or steak or really meat. They went to those places. I never really understood that lifestyle, due to how I grew up. Even our houses we grew up in are completely different worlds. Money has been an after thought my whole life, were as David's family were strapped. When I was growing up we did not even go to walmart...due to my families...Grandpa is a buisness attorney that fights for those peoples rights.
I will even say I love Goodwill and Savers...I love finding treasures. I love finding things that are unique and unusual. I love to be in shock and awe over something that is just amazing. Or things that you can fix up and make them 10x better. I still go to the mall for my clothes, target, or other places. I love to garage sale. I meet people and have some great conversations. Get things for cheap that look great. I enjoy going out with my friends to find some great things. One time we saw two old woman walking away from a garage sale while we drove up. Looked at Amber and said that is going to be us. Shes like yup I know. Haha. I may not have grown up with this stuff in my life but I am going to enjoy showing this stuff to my children.
My husband is part Owner of a Agricultural Construction Company. This is an all year round job. Business has picked up in the last years. Its a small company maybe 10 guys that work there. Pay is good, benefits are great, and bonuses are awesome. So with the upcoming years when we buy a house. Our kids will not have to share a room(Like David's family) I grew up in a house where I had a huge room and my own bathroom. My kids will only have the best. We will both make sure of that. My parents made sure my brother and I got the best. Having two kids it is hard but I think they will be grateful of what we have become.
I was pregnant when I was 18. Nobody thought we were gonna be okay. His parents and one of his brothers badmouthed us and didn't believe in us. We were too young and they didn't know anything that was going on. Needless to say..we have done everything by ourselves. Even the part were I am a stay at home mom. We have never borrowed money from anyone in our family. We have learned to do everything by ourselves. Two kids later, we own a trailer, we pay our bills, we own a nice car and we did this.
All types of people come from different backgrounds. It doesn't matter what you come from. It matters what you do with all that you have learned. Matters what your life is know and how hard you are trying to reach the stars. My husband and I may have come from two different worlds...but we bring two different perspectives to our marriage and our kids. It makes things easy to put the pieces together.
Being a lazy sob.
Today went perfect besides my husband beating me before I woke up he went out and got me roses. Of course, White Roses, which are my favorite and a new necklace. Ahhh..so sweet even on father's day.
I keep putting things off so much. Like cleaning up my closet. Ahhh..the thing that never seems to be complete. I have got rid of tons of clothes and it still seems they linger in the crevices. Ahh...including my gnomes that steal my socks but mind you I only own about maybe 5 pairs of socks. I am an avid flip flop wearer other than exercising I use my toners. Blah. Good running shoes though. My feet always feel quite literally, suffocating in them. Unless I am exercising than my brain is preoccupied to care. The path I run down is one of those, I may be killed any moment" that kinda gives you a boost to run. Because in fact, you do not want to slow down due to the creepers. Haha a very typical morning. The other thing I have been putting off is cleaning off my bathroom counter, covered in like 100 different shades of nailpolish, tweezers, make-up, cleaners, shampoo, kid toys, Victoria Secret Scents, artwork and a fountain. I really need to clean up and suprisingly these two places are the only messes in the house...Mostly because of me...okay about 99%. I already told my husband, you want to complain about my bathroom or closet, you can go share the kids. Of course, he laughed but hasn't brung the subject up because usually I clean up the bathroom, and my closet when I buy New stuff. Such a truth. But maybe just so I can take a picture I can clean up Maybe...
Well I did it...the before pictures show how much of a pig I am haha..everybody has those places you ahhh..are less than proud of.
Here is my less than proud of places...
"I am Felix"
" Meet my bathroom counter....ahh the mess is horrid"
"Again"
"This is the whole thing...ignore the walls due to we have to gut this bathroom.
Our room may look very desolated but we are currently remodeling and Felix moving in and all. In these picutures my beautiful jewelry armoire is in here. It is my favorite...Ahh...we barely spend any time in our room. But it is a working progress and I love it. My lamp is one of my inspirations of what this room will look like. But hey its really clean..haha
I keep putting things off so much. Like cleaning up my closet. Ahhh..the thing that never seems to be complete. I have got rid of tons of clothes and it still seems they linger in the crevices. Ahh...including my gnomes that steal my socks but mind you I only own about maybe 5 pairs of socks. I am an avid flip flop wearer other than exercising I use my toners. Blah. Good running shoes though. My feet always feel quite literally, suffocating in them. Unless I am exercising than my brain is preoccupied to care. The path I run down is one of those, I may be killed any moment" that kinda gives you a boost to run. Because in fact, you do not want to slow down due to the creepers. Haha a very typical morning. The other thing I have been putting off is cleaning off my bathroom counter, covered in like 100 different shades of nailpolish, tweezers, make-up, cleaners, shampoo, kid toys, Victoria Secret Scents, artwork and a fountain. I really need to clean up and suprisingly these two places are the only messes in the house...Mostly because of me...okay about 99%. I already told my husband, you want to complain about my bathroom or closet, you can go share the kids. Of course, he laughed but hasn't brung the subject up because usually I clean up the bathroom, and my closet when I buy New stuff. Such a truth. But maybe just so I can take a picture I can clean up Maybe...
Well I did it...the before pictures show how much of a pig I am haha..everybody has those places you ahhh..are less than proud of.
Here is my less than proud of places...
"I am Felix"
"Again"
"This is the whole thing...ignore the walls due to we have to gut this bathroom.
Our room may look very desolated but we are currently remodeling and Felix moving in and all. In these picutures my beautiful jewelry armoire is in here. It is my favorite...Ahh...we barely spend any time in our room. But it is a working progress and I love it. My lamp is one of my inspirations of what this room will look like. But hey its really clean..haha
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Fathers Day.
Today is a glorious day, well in about ohh... 30 more minutes. This is my husbands second fathers day..or maybe the third...depends on if we celebrated it while my son was inside of me or not. I am planning a perfect day with him and the kids. I love surprising him.
On mothers day he surprised me with breakfast and we went out for lunch and he gave me the whole day off. If you have been around a two toddlers and you are a stay at home mom feel my pain. Even the showers are sacred. Haha. He also got me another Lego Pirates of the Caribbean for Wii. I love that game. When Harry Potter came our he got me the first three Harry Potter Books I was missing, The movies I was missing, The new one, and he got me Lego Harry Potter Years One thru four. We have already dominated Indian Jones, Batman, and Starwars lego. They are very fun mindless indulging games.
I think I will start off tomorrow, getting up at 5:30 going for my run. I have been horribly sick and my lung are so "over" being sick. They are still full of mucus but I will start exercising again. After a week of not I am terribly missing it. Then proceed to do the whole "I am a good housewife bit" and clean up some house, let some dogs out, unplug his alarm clock, make some pancakes, sausage the whole bit. I think he will really enjoy it. I took him out to eat for dinner without our son on Friday. We all enjoyed it so much. I am always in the mood of seafood.
I am currently in the process of Finishing the Fourth Harry Potter book, I have read them all before but I was to catch up everything before the last half of the movie comes. Which I of course am a Harry Potter Fan..its been what I have grew up with. I am also preening through Twilight. I am disappointed in the writing but as David has reminded me it is for Young Adult. The movies are okay in the sense, of some things are defiantly too CG.The whole thing of glitter is just as corny. Invicible they are not due to the whole burning and cutting up kind of dark in the first one. I am also continuing my crafts, before I know it Christmas will be here and I have to be done with these trees. Specially, when I have a Thanksgiving and Christmas party..have to impress with everything besides my cooking haha. David last year ruined my cooking due to hot peppers and a lot of them. Us girls were watering up a storm. Biggest plans at the moment is getting ready for Will and Laurens wedding, Amanda and Brads wedding and My brothers wedding. We made it thru Cape Cod we can make it thru 12 hour trip lol.
I cannot believe it is June already...its just inconceivable. By August, I will have a three year old and a two year old. I am only 22. Where did time go. I have no freaking clue. Not a lot of this have changed since 2007. Thats when I first found out I was pregnant with my son. Still have mostly the same friends I have always have. Of course three huge things happen, kids, married, and owning too many things. Moved twice. That was uninviting. Bought way too expensive couch that has sadly been way too misused. Fixing up a trailer so we can move to a forever home. Hopefully, isn't haunted too much. At least I love my in laws and my parents.
The past to me is filled with a lot of dark corners and things that is less than appealing. Things that have been stored in the attic and the boxes all dusty and falling apart. My past is cryptic. That to me is okay. The past has been escorted from my brain. It is less painful and sensitive for both me and my husband that way. I guess when you think about it when those things are gone you feel a weight lifted off. THe shackles ripped off. I realize everyday this is exactly where I need to be and I will fight whom ever decides to mess with my perfect world. My husband feels the same. I love him with all my heart and on Septmeber 4th it will be six years together and I wouldn't change a single thing. Not eve the worst. Life is what you make it. Generally, I believe I am ever changing and roller coaster of life. I think that will make my kids stronger. Knowing that there grandmother and mother are such strong woman.
Ahh...midnight hits and I have to get up early. Me,little Felix and David will slipt into our dreams.
On mothers day he surprised me with breakfast and we went out for lunch and he gave me the whole day off. If you have been around a two toddlers and you are a stay at home mom feel my pain. Even the showers are sacred. Haha. He also got me another Lego Pirates of the Caribbean for Wii. I love that game. When Harry Potter came our he got me the first three Harry Potter Books I was missing, The movies I was missing, The new one, and he got me Lego Harry Potter Years One thru four. We have already dominated Indian Jones, Batman, and Starwars lego. They are very fun mindless indulging games.
I think I will start off tomorrow, getting up at 5:30 going for my run. I have been horribly sick and my lung are so "over" being sick. They are still full of mucus but I will start exercising again. After a week of not I am terribly missing it. Then proceed to do the whole "I am a good housewife bit" and clean up some house, let some dogs out, unplug his alarm clock, make some pancakes, sausage the whole bit. I think he will really enjoy it. I took him out to eat for dinner without our son on Friday. We all enjoyed it so much. I am always in the mood of seafood.
I am currently in the process of Finishing the Fourth Harry Potter book, I have read them all before but I was to catch up everything before the last half of the movie comes. Which I of course am a Harry Potter Fan..its been what I have grew up with. I am also preening through Twilight. I am disappointed in the writing but as David has reminded me it is for Young Adult. The movies are okay in the sense, of some things are defiantly too CG.The whole thing of glitter is just as corny. Invicible they are not due to the whole burning and cutting up kind of dark in the first one. I am also continuing my crafts, before I know it Christmas will be here and I have to be done with these trees. Specially, when I have a Thanksgiving and Christmas party..have to impress with everything besides my cooking haha. David last year ruined my cooking due to hot peppers and a lot of them. Us girls were watering up a storm. Biggest plans at the moment is getting ready for Will and Laurens wedding, Amanda and Brads wedding and My brothers wedding. We made it thru Cape Cod we can make it thru 12 hour trip lol.
I cannot believe it is June already...its just inconceivable. By August, I will have a three year old and a two year old. I am only 22. Where did time go. I have no freaking clue. Not a lot of this have changed since 2007. Thats when I first found out I was pregnant with my son. Still have mostly the same friends I have always have. Of course three huge things happen, kids, married, and owning too many things. Moved twice. That was uninviting. Bought way too expensive couch that has sadly been way too misused. Fixing up a trailer so we can move to a forever home. Hopefully, isn't haunted too much. At least I love my in laws and my parents.
The past to me is filled with a lot of dark corners and things that is less than appealing. Things that have been stored in the attic and the boxes all dusty and falling apart. My past is cryptic. That to me is okay. The past has been escorted from my brain. It is less painful and sensitive for both me and my husband that way. I guess when you think about it when those things are gone you feel a weight lifted off. THe shackles ripped off. I realize everyday this is exactly where I need to be and I will fight whom ever decides to mess with my perfect world. My husband feels the same. I love him with all my heart and on Septmeber 4th it will be six years together and I wouldn't change a single thing. Not eve the worst. Life is what you make it. Generally, I believe I am ever changing and roller coaster of life. I think that will make my kids stronger. Knowing that there grandmother and mother are such strong woman.
Ahh...midnight hits and I have to get up early. Me,little Felix and David will slipt into our dreams.
Friday, June 17, 2011
happy
I looked at myself in the mirror and turned very vain. I am going back to my old self and I am turning back to my beautiful self. In essence, I am very beautiful inside and out. Losing weight is the best thing in the whole world. I even know what I am gonna look like skinnier, but it doesn't matter. I really love unearthing my whole body again, or a sense of who I am. I would never change who I am.
"I have one life to live, I am gonna live it to the fullest"
I am lucky I get to be a stay at home mom and do things I love. Felix is fitting in quite nicely.
He cuddling with me all night. So as soon as Smokey, comes around he will be part of the family. David has been telling me no to another cat for a while now. But a kitten in need how can you say no. Glad he is a sucker for my animal love.
" The past is in the past for a reason"
"the past can not be changed and we carry our choices with us forward; into the unknown we can only move on ~ Libba Bray"
Time to work on my ornaments..for sure.
"I have one life to live, I am gonna live it to the fullest"
I am lucky I get to be a stay at home mom and do things I love. Felix is fitting in quite nicely.
" The past is in the past for a reason"
"the past can not be changed and we carry our choices with us forward; into the unknown we can only move on ~ Libba Bray"
Time to work on my ornaments..for sure.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Felix
Today it continues my unique ability to call animals. I have always been attracted to animals as they have been to me. My first cats were attracted to me when I was very little. We lived in the country and cats that needed help would come to our house. One time we ended up taking bb's out of her neck and sewing her up. Our first two dogs were resuces. Two black cats caught my attention in a ditch, abandoned, Pepper and Pixie live with my parents they are 7 years old. Next came Smokey we found in an old friends driveway...she is our angel and been the best cat ever. 6 years old. Then came Tigger, ab orange cat, abandoned outside an appartment. He was the best ever. I got followed home by artemius, Luvvie, and Cuddles. I love helping them and getting them the home they need.
When we were in minnesota we found to cats abandoned out in the heat at least 15 minutes away from civilization abandon in a cat crate. They ended up coming home with us to Ohio. 2 alaskan malamutes and 2 cats were in the car with us. How fun. Both cats were terrified of the trip. Mohito was the next cat abandoned outside our house. We are currently down to Miss Smokey all are in long term homes. But today David came up to me told me there was a kitten screaming its head off. I went outside and picked up the little cutie. His name is now Felix. He has gotten his flea bath and is chillin, next to me. I cannot wait to see him grow up.
When we were in minnesota we found to cats abandoned out in the heat at least 15 minutes away from civilization abandon in a cat crate. They ended up coming home with us to Ohio. 2 alaskan malamutes and 2 cats were in the car with us. How fun. Both cats were terrified of the trip. Mohito was the next cat abandoned outside our house. We are currently down to Miss Smokey all are in long term homes. But today David came up to me told me there was a kitten screaming its head off. I went outside and picked up the little cutie. His name is now Felix. He has gotten his flea bath and is chillin, next to me. I cannot wait to see him grow up.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
My castle is under Siege....
Sometimes I cannot control who I am. That is an utter FACT. Sometimes I wonder why my brain goes into such sieges. It gets attacked by several emotion at there worst for no reason. I know my Schizophrenia is progressing and that has a lot to do with these emotions. But sometimes it is just plain frustrating.Even when the problem is not even a problem. The not effecting of anything. Small in comparison of tons of other things. A flaw in the most. Flaws are sometimes an annoying piece of life. I feel like I am constantly battling Satan with my thoughts.I am baffeled by how strong I am. Even when at my worst nobody will ever know. I am unperfectly perfect.
Monday, June 13, 2011
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