Somewhere is better than nowhere

 It's been a long time since my first post. It's been hectic but here I am still pushing the exercise. I feel like a failure in the sense that I keep putting off exercise....The change is coming...the time is right. Time to kill the habits and form new ones. 

I recently got a 23andme kit. This will put everything in perception of everything else I need to do. They use DNA to test and give you ancestry/health results. Today is the day. I put this in writing and get started. 

 This week is the beginning week. 10 minutes on the elliptical. I've only had 2 probiotic drinks...can't get enough Karma :) No pop and yesterday no pop. Today is the day I believe in me. 

Running is a start

I think as I sit at a counter, doing my daily job. I'm not going to lie I actually love my job. Most people don't. I love my co-worker and my boss. I see these people over 40 hours a week and still get alone. I am an amazing people person which is crazy to think about. I use to be so very shy. Petrified about meeting new people. Now I know my products and sell them well. Only downfall with money is the people that don't pay it back. Which results in millions of phone calls a week.

But anyway. I am about to hit one of my goals. On Monday, I ran for 14 minutes straight at 3.7 and incline at 1.7. Which is small yes. But it is huge for me to be getting to my halfway to thirty. I want to be able to run 3 miles in 30 min., right now I average at almost 2 in thirty min.

I've been thinking a lot about people that start up running. It is so difficult. Nobody tells you that when you first start your calves, thighs, and feet will hurt. Nobody tells you that sometimes you will get so bored from running, that you won't want to run. They also won't tell you in your last ten minutes you will count down and then feel so amazing when your done. Nobody also tells you that at first you gain weight from muscle.

I literally have been bored of every app that helps run. Every couch to 5k, zombie,5k they bore me to death. Zombie run catches my interest for the story line but you get to listen to,much 60 percent of the time.

animals and me!!

It's been a minute

Wow. It's been so long since I have posted anything. Which lets prevent this. My life is ever changing.

My husband and I are currently seperated. It's been hard, but it's been two years. I love him still very much, just our lives collided in a very bad way at one point.

My little man is turning 7 this year and my princess is turning 6. They are currently graduating from kindergarten and first grade. I couldn't be a happier mother.

I'm going to school full time for exercise concentration major and minor in dietitian. I'm in my sophomore year and find it amazing. I work 40 hours a week at a job I deserve. I get to dress up everyday and look gorgeous. Can't complain. I work with two amazing woman I consider my friends.

My life has also erupted with animals. Mailee Basil is going on 9 years old. She is a gorgeous Alaskan malamute from Stillwater, okalohoma. Mailee also went out and decided to be a whore, lol. She got pregnant by a blue heeler, and she had 4 male,puppies. We kept one and named him Link. He is gorgeous. We also saved a German Shepard Rottweiler. Her name is Zelda and she is a year old. We still also have Tiara she is 3 this year, she is a mini Schnauzer pomerian. I also have three cats. Smokey is still with us working on ten years. Finn a cat who followed me home about 6 years ago is still with us. He just recently had a tail surgery so he is a stumpy. We also drive two hours away just to adopt a 3 week old rescue kitten. We have spent so much time on the little one and miss Aurora is now 9 weeks old and hyper as ever. We also have 3 birds, two cockatiels, Mystic and Crowley, and a parrotlot named Sorin.

I'm trying to bring some light on to the struggles we all have when it comes to weight loss. My favorite one is working out for a month straight and no results. This sucks and motivation is lacking. I am 26 and not getting any younger. I am not taking it hard at all like one of my co workers. I actually enjoy being 26. Needless to say I've developed some not so nice m3dical conditions. I got My tubes burned out about 3 years ago. Which for me was liberating. I only wanted two kids and that's how it is staying. I also found out that all of the intense period pain I was having from,16 til now is caused by endrometris. Which my pain isn't as extreme as some others. Mines being bandaged by hormones.  My chest also in flames my cartilage between my sternum and sometimes makes me feel asthmatic or like there is an elephant on my chest. I've also started a regiment for my anxiety linked to my anger.

Now let me get one thing straight. I love my body and all its curves. Sometimes I have my days where I am ashamed but I do love it. I have finally got up to start running 13 min at 3.7. Which is an amazing start at 1.7 incline. I also have two gym memberships, one at planet fitness and one in my local area. I also have a treadmill at home to keep it up. I have today as of now started hydroxycut. To help this process up. I've already lost 40 pounds and this time I'm killing it

Sexy 3 miles

I finally caved and bought a treadmill. I tricking love it. I am still healing but I can get a good workout. I am only doing 1.5 to 3 miles a day. The burn is great. Plus the alone time with music is good therapy.

I am a Phoenix

So life has been a rush...lately I have been asking myself what do I want. I have hit that lovely fork in the road. The one that is so godforsaken painful and world shaking.

I am 24 and I have no idea what I want. I feel like a 2 year old in a horrible temper tantrum. One hand I get the world and the other hand I get to restart my life. Which honestly, desperatly feels right. People rarely get do overs.

I am in the mist of divorce with my husband. Who claims to have finally found himself and he can finally give me the love I deserve. How many second, third, fourths times can you forgive someone. That relationship was a lot of hard work and a lot of painful memories. Hence it has ended this way after 8 1/2 years. I want to believe he changed..but part of me doesn't want to be stuck in the whirlpool of pain over and over.

Secondly, I am in love with my best friend and always have been. He has always picked me up through the low points of my life. We have seen the best of times and the worst of each other. He doesn't try to change me or even pressure me into the norms. I am still changing and he isn't stifling that.He also gets along with my kids so well. They are the most important people in my life. Plus he is also into fitness and being healthy. Which is so important to me.

Can I give up a second chance to finally be happy for a past wrapped in hell? I don't know. I do know I am going to school for Exercise Science Concentration. Every Saturday 8-5 I spend in school, do my online classes and get ahead.

I recently got surgery. Tubal Ligation. I made the big decision to never have children again. All I need is my two angels. So I am slowly getting back into exercise. The stress on the muscle is a bit much and you are sore a little bit. So I started out last week. .. with 6 miles on the bike...I was sore let me tell you. So this Monday I thought lets do this again. Monday I did 6 miles in 30 minutes. Today I did Tuesday- 1 minute of 5 and then today 7 miles of 35 miles.

Life is insane at the moment and keeping up with it is so hard...but as always it will keep going. Restarting my life.

I just realized I havent blogged since November. Gosh, so much has happened that it is crazy. Where to start.

Beginning of December I kicked my husband out. Something happened that was big enough for me to take everything. (Not Cheating) I took the car and dropped him off with his parents. He use to hate me but now we are parenting great from distances. He is having God help him tremendously. We may never be together but we will always be great friends.

I am going to school full time to major in exercise Science. I go to school on Saturdays 8-5 and on Thursdays 730-9. I am trying to better myself for my kids to make them and myself proud.

Tomorrow I have decided to get myself sterile. The doctor listed to me all the questions because I am so young. 23 turning 24. The divorcing husband and finding a guy that wanted a baby. Well It aint gonna happen with me. Replacing kids if something happens...no. These two will be my only angel so 10 oclock tomorrow I will have no fallopian tubes they are burning them completely down.

In two weeks I will be recover and off to start my exercise regiment all over again.