Commit

Lately, I have been having a horrible itching to change even more. The weight is coming off and it is exciting. Jillian Michaels, Denise Austin, Bob harper, Jessice, and Jackie are people I strongly look up too. I am currently just trying to get my water intake adjusted. It is considered a gallon a day. I am a little under a gallon by like an ounce. I am really enjoying my new videos. They really burn your arms out. Which I enjoy very much. Okay, if I don't have to pick up two kids all day. It would be a little easier if I didn't have kids. But I make time to throw it in. Two kids and a full time mom. At least I have a great husband who is nice enough to take them at night so I can go on my walk/run or do my exercise videos//I do two a day. Soon it will be 5:30 a.m. and bed at 11:00p.m. I hope my body adapt to at least 5 to 6 hours of sleep compared to 3 hours. I drink an Ensure everyday. Which I love my Strawberry one..That's my morning love. Or my TlC bars. I am doing my eating healthier, no diet, and portion sizes. My body would commit suicide if I ever thought about starving it, lol. Maybe that is an overstatement.

But all that matters is weight loss. 100% whether it be gaining water weight, losing pure body fat, inches, or losing that pound. I adore this journey and seeing the changes..and oh yeah buying new worrkout clothes.

I am getting a Quaker!!!

So I have been busting my butt of all day today. Well I had a bit of fun. We all went to the zoo today. It was perfect weather, sunny and beautiful. It wasn't that crowded. It was my idea since I didn't wanna just go outside. Anywho, had a great time and visited the cockatoo that I so dearly love. Which got me on my subject, but first. I have my trips all plotted out and hello St. cloud and Cape Cod I am ready. SO very ready. But anyway back to the birds. I have been thinking a lot of what birds I should get. I have 4 parakeets.

This is slate he is slate colored and a peach.

These are Jazzy(shes the multicolored one), Champagne (the all yeallow one ) and Aquamarine(Yellow with azure.

THey are the best birds ever so I had to make up my mind of what kind of bird I want. First I thought cockatiels. I still love them. I eventually want two. But I decided against it and contacted a local bird farm. First I was interested in an Indian Ring Neck

They are beautiful. But I found out they are quiet big and may accidencely hurt my poor budgies. Which that cannot happen. Then I found a Parrotlet.

They are little but the lady decided that I should get a Quaker a bird for my needs. I have only met two Quakers and now after learning so much on them and David agreeing. I will be getting a beautiful Blue Quaker. THey love other birds. So I cannot wait to get one. They are handraises and in a very lovely place. 3 hours away. Oh well.

So can all this wedding stuff get out of the way. So I can get me a new Bird. I cannot even express how much I love this. I plan on making most of its toys. I really hope its a boy. But a girl is always nice too. Good night to a long day

Running

So lately I have been attempting to run? This brings up things in my head. Even my friend who has bee "running" even says I would not call myself a "runner". According to everything I read you start out slow. As in my case, 2 minutes of running/4 minutes of walking for a week. Then it gets higher every week 3/3, 4/2 and etc. You build up. Does that mean at this point you aren't a runner. No, you are considered a runner. Dosen't matter if your just starting out or on that 26 mile marathon, you are considered a runner.

Running is exercise that burns calories like nothing else. Interesting fact about 60% of runners, run just to manage their weight. It burns your legs out, tightens your stomach, and burns your arms down. It helps you clear your mind, put yourself to the test, and even build up your lungs. My brother had asthma when he was younger and now he is running 26.4 marathon runs. Just amazing. Hes of course been running for 10+ Years. So he has well, a lot more experience than I do. In my exercise/weight loss journey I have been pushing myself up to the next level every chance I get. Maybe just to prove to myself I can do this. I strive to do this. Even when my calves feel like they are screaming from every direction or my biceps are dying. I still get up and do it. Even after my workout partner quit last month. I wasn't going to be like her.

I have heard from countless people that I am going to loss the weight. I feel gross, disgusting and etc. Then you watch them shove fast food and more unhealthy stuff in their face. All you can wonder, really you feel horrible about yourself but your eating that. Well then. I gave up pop, fast food(just subway, anything with corn syrup, high frutose, bleached stuff, and traded it all in. For water a gallon a day, working out for an hour a day, salads, wheat, and so much more. Seems know anything packed full of sugar makes me want to barf. Blah, seriously. This road is not being taken easily. But thats the fun in life.If everything was the same and normal. Life would be amazingly boring. Well off to do my exercise.

Personal Trainer, as a career

So I looked my Husband in the eye told him " I have decided what I am going to do in life and you can't laugh" He looked at me and was like what is it. "I think I want to go to school to be a Personal Trainer." Surprisingly he was wow, that makes sense your really good at motivating people and getting them to work harder. Of course, I wouldn't do it til after the kids go to school but I took a test and got 99% right. It was easy things, muscle injuries, muscles, what exercises build up muscles.Honestly easy questions. I cannot wait to go to school for it. Unlike what most people think you have to be fit to be a personal trainer. Myth. You do not. Me personally I want to be fit. Amazingly fit. I want to be able to be the greatest motivation to people that were stuck in my position. Something I would love to do to people. Be motivation, a rock and personally anything else they would want from me. This is something that can never fail. THis world is every growing in well weight. People will always go for a gym and look for help.

I have been working out like crazy the last week. Stubborn pounds I tell you. That Damn scale is only budging in my body fat % going down and water going up. Okay which yes is good. I celebrated my weight loss with 2 new outfits for losing weight. Love it. I am not sure if I love the money spending or the out fits more. One is blue and has a flower on it, the Capri and darkest blue with flowery top. Then the other one is just purple. Debating on buying the other two. Ones Red and the other is Yoga looking. I love me some yoga. I have been in search for girley workout clothes. I hate working out in just black and white. Its boring. That boost of confident in matching workout clothes. Now I just need to find matching light hoodies. That would make me ecstatic. I know. I am a workout nerd. But I guess that means I am healthy.

I hear so many people say they dont know where to start. All I did was go to the store..grabbed a dvd. Started my journey. I saw what I like and what dosent do shit. My take. Then go get a piece of equipment. Right now I own 10 pieces of workout equipment. Nice. Different sizes too. I am hoping to get ankle weights to bike in. Know to start my day!!

Help me understand who you are

You're so beautiful
But that's not why I love you
I'm not sure you know
That the reason I love you, is you
Being you, just you
Yea the reason I love you
Is all that we've been through
And that's why I love you

lala, lalalala, lala, lalala

I like the way you misbehave
When we get wasted
But that's not why I love you
And how you keep your cool when I am complicated
But that's not why I love you, hey

I adore this song by Avril Lavigne. One line sticks out so much. " And you keep your cool when I am complicated" Every time I think of how calm David keeps me. In 2007 we went to Kings Island and got on a ride. Leaving my tinkerbell purse in the bin, which had 60$, my card, earrings,card,glasses, and much more. We got off the ride. Everything was gone. While we are waiting for the Cops. I was throwing up. Ended up being my red slushy they thought it was blood. I had to go on the little med. thing. Really annoyed. David was so calm. 2 weeks later I got all my stuff back except the money and our cell phones. Bummer. But he kept me so calm. He spent that night cuddling and telling me it would be okay. How much he loved me. It was amazing.

"You said hey whats your name"

Last night after all my friends "Drama" not with me but boyfriend problems. I had to clear my mind..and soul. I took a three hour walk until midnight. Destroyed my fears of walking down the pathway and down county road 13. Pitch Black. Honestly, I dont think half the time I saw anything. Not even my arms. Sometimes my brain needs utter isolation and darkness to clear up. It makes me feel so safe. " Sometimes I don't understand whats going on inside my brain" That is an understatement. It feels their are destructive layers, passive layers, anger layers, music layers, and many more. It like oh, a great day, what can I do to destroy it. Any dreams I have are probably the most adrenaline packed dream`s and scariest movies you have ever seen. I don't even know why. I have seen ghosts or apparitions they don't even terrify me. Put me in my dreams and watch me suffer. Most gruesome, horrid things. Sometimes a lot of it takes in the past medieval times. It is like I am having memories from a past life. Weird as that is, it feel true. Regardless if it is or not Creepy dreams.

I have worked so hard the last couple days..and let me tell you my back upper back is feeling some burn. Okay really bad Omg burn. I decided This month I am training for 30 day shred. If I complete 30 days of that next month I am buying insantity. Why else I am Insane lol. My sister- in law did it and she looks great. Whoo! Hard work!!!

Losing more weight

So all my hard work is paying off. I have lost all together 5.4 pds, 3.5 pure body fat and gained 2.6 of water. I love seeing it disappear. Gosh it is so motivating. I just love getting my weight down. Nerveless, I am sore my lower back is in pain. I am fighting through the vomiting feeling.

This is my journey. Monday is week 4 this is hard. SO hard yesterday my non existent calves have expressed there distaste in exercising. Very much. The two things that stayed skinny my calves and my butt. My butt never really gets workout. If it did...it would be nonexistent. Now don't get me wrong I fill my pants out. Nice cute butt. I like it, and my husband loves it. Thats all that matter, right. I feel just feel so ahhh....I am finally losing weight!. I have a long way to go and it exhilarating. It is a motivation seeing the results in Black and White. Or rather my awesome scale that sends electric pulses through my body and sees all my hard work. I think my body is like zap needs to loss weight! Or it is like holy crap, finally weight loss. I feel the difference everyday.

My body is motivated to do this. To move and be active. I will say I enjoy it to a point. Week 4...on Monday....Finally. They say outside results start after 4-6 weeks of consistent exercise. So here I come Week 4. Phase 2 starts Monday. Much harder. Saturday I thought I was going to die. It was full of stride jumps, fire feet, mountain climber, mountainboarding, running, outrunning people and so much more. Hard calve stuff mostly. I just cannot understand my body at times. But my water intake is greatly all the time. It is a must know without it I feel sick and dehydrated. So funny how much less water your body cannot handle.

Motivation

Motivation : lost 4.2 pounds
2.7 pure body fat
1.8+ of water
Week 3.