Crazy Hair!

Day 8: Whenever I lose Motivation

I always doubt myself when things get too overwhelming for me...doesn't mean I give up just means I get a little depressed and then workout harder.Yes, apparently punishments for me equal tons of hard work. In the last 3 years I have done amazing things.

I have carried two children. Went over my due date by 2 weeks. Naturally Birthed both kids and went through labor.(Kids being 8lbs 6oz 21 in and 8lbs 9oz 21 in) Breastfeed successfully both kids, one for 3 months(milk went dry due to pregnancy) and then 8 months with my daughter. Have lost 23 pounds or more..just because I put my mind to it. Am only 23 and I own my own house, car, got married, had kids and that is like half the battle in my 20s. I have some amazing friends that never let me forget who I am. I am there for my friends and help them through difficult times. Motherhood is pretty amazing in itself and keeps you always on your toes. I am pushing toward my goal of being a personal trainer. I do not really know what other things I can become in the next 6-7 years of my 20's but knowing me it will be anything less of amazing.

I may not be perfect but my life is falling into what I could have never imagined at 16. I didn't plan this, but it has giving me so much more valuable information in this life. This weight loss journey is a huge one! The inspiration and motivation is just plain amazing. Last night I was watching Biggest loser and probably teared up half the show. When Anna ran to the team I was crying! She didn't just stand there and judge. She wanted to help them. Plus the black dude looks like he is going to kick ass this season.

Week 5 is sucking. Yesterday, my son was getting sick all night so that opted out of that workout...Doing an hour isn't feasible when kids are more important. Last night got an hour of sleep. But any workouts that I miss go on my Week 7. That is because I am doing all the exercise! I will complete this.

Day 8: Believe in Yourself

I am so proud of my best friend. She is starting a workout program and I will be there for her 100% and even workout with her, when she wants me to, even if I have already worked out. That is a real friend.

I had workout partners and they failed. They have been skinnier than me and failed. Disappointed not only me but themselves. I have flung workout partners to the wind and depended on myself. With much motivation from friends and family it is amazing. Plus my Sparkpeople Friends I love your comments they go on my motivational board and make me always remember everyone encouraging me.

One of our conversations..included thinking that a workout is hard. Then regretting why didn't start sooner or thinking how did I let myself get like this. Stop! Right there. That kind of negative talk gets you no where. Absolutely, let those negative thoughts go and strive to get it right, right now. It should be hard, if it was easy we would all be skinnier! You are trying now and that is ALL THAT MATTERS. Many people cannot even get to the getting up part.

There is a wall in exercising. It the wall you hit when things get hard, and you cannot grip the motivation for it. This wall is the toughest thing to get over! Trust me once you hit that, you want to grab the nearest sugary food and sit on the couch and mope. During this time, you also think how it is not working and you will never be able to do it. I hit this wall after my calves were in so much pain...I cried myself to sleep at night. Tons of Icy hot slabbed on it. I looked at my scale and I said I will get you down. Took some long walks(5 miles) and meditated and I have never looked back!

Never compare yourself to others in exercise. We are at so many different levels that it is hard to compare. Just look up to and believe that someday you will reach that level. I do all the time. People that have lost so many pounds, specially people that have went from 240 to 125...I smile everytime. If they can do it I can to. If I can do it anyone else can do it.

Just remember do this for you, not others. Don't let others problems and anger bring you down. Do not Give up losing 20 pounds isn't easy, losing 40 pounds isn't easy, 60 pounds isn't easy, but It can be done and people do it all the time. Plus It is so worth it when You try on those smaller clothes and feel great!

Hope this inspires someone to start a journey they will not regret!!!

Day 7: Changes are coming

So the leaves are changing colors as they leave their branches. Covering the ground in their wonderful colors. September is here..bringing its cold nights and beautiful sunny (or here rainy) days. Which with September coming and soon to be ending. I am on Week 5 of Slim in 6.

Week 5..of working my butt off. For what? To have thinner thighs, to see the fat shrink off, to fit into better clothes....okay all good reasons...

But...I do it because I want to be normal again. Pay attention...to the I. I do it for myself and only myself. I only have to men to impress in my life and I think both of them are pretty happy. It is easy to keep a Toddler and a husband decent. I also have a daughter that is looking up to me and she sees how hard mommy is working. But still all for me! My husband has physically restrained me from exercising when I was sick, and most time thinks I am crazy.

I do not feel comfortable in this body. I was 119 pounds my entire 18 years. I loved wearing Jeans and dressing cute. Being Emo that was me. The day I started gaining weight when I was pregnant...I got a stretch mark on my hip..my body knew this wasn't suppose to be happening. In the last 3 years after 2 pregnancies I gained just about 124 pounds. I will say Depo- Provera did not help matters. My body, seeing pictures of myself, smiling...I just see a person I do not recognize...that person is fat. Weighing in on February 14th 2011 I weighted 243.3 pounds, 53% fat, and 34.3. I hit that point of what am I doing, I got off Depo and started my journey.

On August 20th, I weighed 220.8, was 46.3 % fat and 39.2% water. Due to the fact so much traveling, weddings, and workout partners quitting over the past 8 months. I am on full force destruction mode and nothing is stopping me...

Why..
Because I want to wear Jeans again! It has easily been two year
I don't ever want to see the word xlarge again
I deserve a better body
I want to make my kids proud of me
I want to feel at home next to my husband.( even though he loves me unconditionally)
I dont ever want to be said to me You use to be the fit girl! Ugh
I want all the feelings to go away towards, clothes, mirrors, others, past
I want to inspire others.
Personal trainer I want to become.
I want to be the person I was before...because that person is me

Goals:
Finish Slim in 6 on week 5
Supreme 90 start on October 10th will complete until January 7th!
Finish completely 30 day shred

My goals for the rest of this year and next year

to lose 110 pounds..if I lose more awesome..
A “healthy” BMI ranges from 18.5 to 24.9.
Get my water up to a "normal level"
Become a tough Mudder
Run a 5K marathon

Short Term:
Get under 200 pounds
Finish Slim in 6
Keep Active
Start Supreme 90
Keep a positive attitude
Read the Spark

Never Give Up! Fighting for your dreams!

Rinoa: Gosh, you're such a pessimist. There are no guarantees in the future. That's why TODAY, the time we have now, is important. Squall, we wanna help you, as much as we can, for as long as we can. We all love you. There, I said it. Please don't freak out. We just wanna live, y'know, live through this time with you, together.

Day 6: Perception

I have had so many mixed emotions about working out while I am sick. I mean I am seriously sick Puking, Fever, Runny nose, sore throat all equal feeling like Crap! I have had so many views on it. My husband has restricted me, on working out on Wednesday, so I did an hour on my stationary bike. Yesterday, I slept enough to feel a little better(plus some Dayquil) and did Burn It Up! The workout is an hour long! max heartbeat 169, average 130. Finish with like 3 pauses and drank 6 water. Oh and did 20 pushups.

Anyone that knows me! Knows I hate to be restricted. Even If my body is screaming at me. I push myself til I am blue in the face. It funny I dare someone to call me fat for the simple fact I would love to see you work out as hard as I do. Doesn't matter if I am sick or sore, the FACT is I am finishing Slim in 6! With flying fricking colors. I have 2 weeks and 2 days left. It is kind of amazing that next week is Week 5. Already? I haven't missed any days. Yesterday I took as my rest day. You have only one rest day a week. So It will be 10 days til rest.

The Perceptions of other people are quite interesting. I have inspired some to continue their own journey, Others have been telling me to watch my body, and others have completely said your crazy. Well that is a duh! I am crazy in all ways speaking. Who while sick would want to work out, Seriously, a nice bed with some Minestrone Soup. As good as that sounds...How about no? Anyone in my position knows You do not get better with Two toddlers!

I think its because I may have a fat shell...but it has only been 2 years since I gotten bigger. So I am still a skinny girl on the inside and she is dying to get out :)

Day 5: Get away from that Scale

Why is it that this $32 piece of plastic and metal rules are daily life. It controls our mood from destroying months of hard work to celebrating.Why? Because we let that single number control us.

I am not far from its mind controlling ways. My scale tells me how much fat I have, water weight, and my weight. Its the lethal kind. Something is bound to make you sad. For me gaining weight while trying to lose it was motivation to try harder. But when I didn't lose for a week I got pretty pissed off at the thing. Even replacing the batteries or moving it. So I decided to disconnect myself from the scale. I quit cold turkey.

Started Slim in 6 and it said 6 weeks of this program. I said fine, scale say your goodbyes and off it went to stay with my friend for 6 weeks.Also I told my friend I have to finish this in order to get if back. Can I say what motivation it has gave me? I will not be disappointed by that small significant number. You will not intimidate me! Even if I lose no weight at all I still rule over you, stupid scale. I know I have got new clothes and without that scale I see the progressive changes in the attitude, the new clothes, the smile, the stomach, and most of all the people around me.

It should be how YOU feel when losing weight and what YOU see! Not what that stupid invented thing is telling you. Let it remind you that maybe you fell off track. But DO NOT let it control you or your emotions. So do not beat yourself up if that number isn't what you use it as motivation to get it where you want.

I dare you to start something new and give the scale up. The first few weeks I wanted to call my friend and beg for it back...Yes, BEG. Then I realize It will be six week before I know it. And it has been October 1st is smiling at me :)

Smiling at me and saying Congratulations you have reached your 6 weeks now work harder.
Remember this is the rest of your life, not just a destination. It is a journey to better who you are forever.

*I fell apart, but got back up again*