Just Boredom I guess

So as I look at the Shipping date of Supreme 90...It is suppose to be here October 3rd. Which means that will be the day I start it. Provided that the shipping date is correct. That means I would end December 31st..Talk about ending the year right. By Halloween I will be on day 60 Thanksgiving DaY 83. Which I am pretty excited to mostly complete this before Frey's Christmas Party then I can go buy a cute dress and such. I like shoes more than I like actually dressing up. I have a feeling this will go so much faster than SLim in 6.

Slim in 6 breakdown:
Start It Up (30 min) 1 week
Ramp It Up (45 min) 2 weeks
Burn It Up (60 min) 3 weeks

I cannot really remember anything other than Burn It Up because it has been the only thing I have been slaving on. 30 minutes of cardio burning squats and such. It packs so much into 30 minutes...I hate the entire part and your heart barely drops past 160. Than comes the easy resistance band and I used my 5 pound weights..Than floor exercises and crunches..Cannot explain this exercise any other way due to just do it. Just try it. I have noticed changes everyday..plus I can do 20 push ups. So I call that pretty accomplished. I am just dying to know what my fat ratio and my water content is. My weight of course.

Slim in 6 has let me fit into a shirt that hasn't fit right since pregnancy with Lori in 2009. That is to me a huge reward. Most of my tank tops are falling off of me and my pants look baggy because I am losing weight in my thighs..My back is showing definition and my shoulders are coming back. I am also back to larges :) I would recommend it to anyone..who is not a beginner. I am lifting 5lbs with ease.

Cannot wait til Sunday to do 16 miles..than start Supreme 90 :)

Balancing all the right things

There is a common question I seem to be getting asked lately.

1. How do I do it?
2. How do I find time?
3. How do I balance wife duties, working out, animals, toddlers, friends, and family?

Well I am doing it because I use to be 119 pounds. Use to be and will be again..that was 2 1/2 years ago. When I got Pregnant I slept all the time and threw up. Not really sure how I gained about 81 pounds...Well awesome do not feel bad I gained weight. Because in fact I got blessed with an easy labor. Natural, no epidurals. An hour and a half. My daughter got a little more intense gained 43 pounds with her..all hard back labor and the medicine the gave me to lesson the pain made me throw up. So 2 hours of back labor. I would rather gain weight anyday than have a c-section or long labor. I prolonged this journey because I was breastfeeding my son. I stopped at 3 months when I lost my milk due to pregnancy and by the time my son walked 9 months..my daughter was about due. Once again stuck to doing the important things. Breastfeeding my daughter. 8 months...she started walking at 12 months.

So I did not and was not able to do this with a toddler and newborn. They had all my attention and at one point I babysit a 3 year old, along with my kids 2 and 1. So when they slept I slept. We were co-sleepers so when it was bedtime mommy followed. SO I did not have a lot of time to start my journey. Hated not fitting into my clothes, hated being the "fat" girl in the family. Going from skinny to obese...yes obese is rough.

I hit my point...It was February 13, 2010. Earlier this year. I was off Depo for 6 months. I was in a state of uproaring emotions. Depo-Provera Messes with every emotion you have. Also helps so you gain or is harder to loose weight. I was crying on the couch, basically asking my husband why he even love me. I am fat and ugly. My husband held me and told me" I created our family and how amazing I was" He became super protective toward me. I decided that Day I would Lose this weight in 2 years...and be happy again. My friend and I picked up a copy of Ea Active 2...I completed that for the whole 9 weeks. That was my start up point. On top of that walking my puppies, and using an elliptical or treadmill for 30 minutes. That was my starting to get my body moving. Just that simple.

Then it moved to losing my workout partner. She had only enough motivation until things got hard. Then since this wasn't her number 1 goal she quit. Then it was all up to me...I probably own easily every Bob Harper, Jillian Michaels workouts. Plus tons more and I can tell you I have at least done each one for a week at a time.

Then it came to Weddings. Our June and July we had four weddings. Know sure if we stayed at home for any of them it wouldn't have matter. First one was Cape Cod, Massachusetts..we lived in a hotel room for a week. Not many healthy choices either. One good thing gained no weight on any of these vacations..Next came Mansfield..3 hours away. 2 days wasn't that bad. Next came one in July but it was 30 minutes away sadly we didn't even get to enjoy it because...we had to bring my son to the er.Last one in St. Cloud minnesota..for I think we stayed 4 days. I sadly was so much on the run..it was hard but while we were in Minnesota we would walk around the parks and stop and go walking. So those were my horrid months.

But I decided starting in August nothing was stopping me. Nothing! Riding bike for an hour a day and then I got Slim in 6 and had been conquering ever since. I am on Week 6 about to finish. I am seeing great results..

But let me tell you I could do not, Could not do this without my husband. My husband, my best friend, father of my children...he has so many titles. He eats healthy like me and he give me the time needed for me to workout, he understands what I need to do. Plus it makes our relationship so much better.

I find all kinds of time to workout. Any one can make up excuses why the cannot do it here's my secret...haha.

I do not drink pop..nope not even at Restaurants . I always get water.
I did whole milk..I just cannot drink 2% I think it takes too watery.
I drink water all the time.
I take Immune multivitamins and Multivitamins.
I am not on a diet. I eat portions and in moderation
I learn as much as I can about losing weight.
I like programs that seem if you want results than do 6 days a week
---Slim In 6-----Supreme 90
I find all kinds of time...while my husband is still asleep in the morning before work I walk the dogs for an hour
Naptime Zeke has quiet playing time in his room with his tv and Lorilye naps. I clean the house and workout for an hour
David gets home at about 5ish. I ask him if he wants to go on a walk..then we go on 3-5 mile walks together with the kids.
Or this weekend I told him lets do 16 mile hike while the kids are at grandmas..He agreed.
Or I wait til 9 and go on a run after the kids are in bed.

You can always make time it just takes commitment and motivation. Effort is key word. Monday is coming close for my weigh in..was 23 ponds 6 weeks ago cannot wait to see the hard work..

These emotions are...

Gasp are those shrunken hips...and stomach..ohh gasp! Wait my boobs are the same size...dammit!

I am dreading that scale....so so so so much. I do not know what I am scare of...I have accomplished making xl look huge on me. Large is the size I am at. My boobs haven't shrunk any but I still have hope. The shirt above I haven't wore in over a year! It fits...It fits...It Fits. Things in my closet I haven't seen since pregnant with Zeke are fitting. Why am I letting this plastic expensive piece of insignificant scale..control my thoughts. I am scare of this number...more scared than I have ever been about anything in my life....One thing is last time I weighed myself...I was 219. A number 23 pounds lost signified. For me that made me cry for an hour. I sat on my bathroom and bawled my eyes out. Crying is rare for me. I just couldn't believe that I ...me did this.

I cannot imagine...what 210 pounds could signify..or putting my hopes up high..to 200. I don't expect to lose 19 pounds in 6 weeks but just that thought boggles my mind...Even 5 pounds I will be excited for. My arms are getting stronger and this shirt use to be tight on my arms..it is not anymore. It is not tight anywear.My pants are looking huge and falling off. It is amazing. Amazing that I am doing this.

I may be doing this for myself. But I dedicate this to every one making this journey with me, or just starting. I also do this for my husband he met me when I was skinny and I am giving him that. I will prove to be a fit mom for my children. I am starting to tear up writing this. This journey is so emotional for me. This is me! THIS IS WHO I AM! This is me! By the end of this I will be losing over a 100+ pounds! When I hit my goal weight..I will put this journey on my body...a tattoo along with my scars to remind me where I am not going to be again. I will never never never..be this big again..I can guarantee it. 5 more days of Slim in 6 and lots more walking on the trails we hit another 3 miles!

The past can always be used for greatness

You know it is funny last year someone that is part of my past wrote how I was Morbidly obese.Just to make herself feel better, she attacked me and my weight. I write this because she is not a skinny person and in fact she is bigger than me at the moment.She attacked me purely because she is jealous of me and always has been. Specially, since her boyfriend was hitting on me constantly. That comment gave me the most motivation toward my goal. As that person has attacked my very being and tried to destroy my life. In all attempts made me much stronger. I took someone who is purely a bully and knocked her off her high horse. I have been working my butt off to prove her insignificant comments wrong. Of course, It hurt thats what it was suppose to do. I am beautiful Inside and out and Honestly I will always be more beautiful than her.

Because truth is I do not treat people like crap or make them feel like crap.Maybe these seem like very contradictory comments but I feel justified. She is part of my past.But taking up from 2005-2007 of being the most immature, meanest, rude commented, high horsed person I have ever met in my life. By the time everything came to a crashing halt..I was sick of it. The boyfriend was constantly hitting on me and much more. Ugh. I did not want him I was perfectly happy with my man. Still am. I will tell you just for the time we were together I was the nicest person I could be and I respected their relationship. We all have our ups and downs. Every relationship is different.

I went through so much crap because of those two people. Things I care not to relive ever! Or even talk about. Let's just say they did not care about David as a friend, they cared about their themselves and what they liked. Not once did the think about David. With any friendship if it makes your friend happy then leave it be. Because if not you will lose that friend. Is you being happy really worth losing a close friend?

With the pounds leaving, I feel as though that nightmare is finally disappearing. Of course, I should not think of anything. But when a relationship of friendship fails, it still lingers. Always. It has teached me that even when I do not like someone it is better to be nicer to them for the whole fact that they should never be treated how I was treated. I have had friends with boyfriends that my friends deserve better, but I will treat them as a friend. No matter what.Because its not my feeling or my life in fact, I care what is best for them and what makes them happy. I always keep the positives in my life and strive to achieve perfection. I have been there 100% for my friends and many of my friends tell me how much I can make them feel better. I pride myself in being a loyal friend...because in fact it is so worth it. Doesn't matter what makes me happy, it is what makes them happy.

This blog I pondered. I deleted most of the negative and tried not to bash into the ground. It comes to it has been 4 years..give or take and honestly I wish them the best. Always. Not that I would ever ever ever put them in my life again, but they can be happy together. I recovered my husband from that downward spiral. We have moved on and hopefully they "she" has too.

The past will always be there but why are her comments going to mean a thing when I am back down to my original weight? It won't matter one bit. Not that it should matter now, I have an amazing husband, two beautiful toddlers and surrounded by the best of friends and family. Just have to let those comments saturate into the base and ground of all my weight loss efforts.

I am working on Week 6 of Slim in 6. Week 6..that is 6 lovely weeks of 6 lovely days of working out. I get to see the scale Sunday and weigh in Monday morning and hopefully start Supreme 90. Thank You "you know who you are" for being part of my motivation. I know you don't want to hear that. But thank you, so much.

You have dragged me through hell and back but also achieved throwing me into the best journey of my entire life. I do not want to be this weigh this for even one year more, I will chisel and kill this. I am almost rounding a year of my weigh loss journey. I have done so much stuff this year and personally achieved so many accomplishments. Thank you from the bottom of my heart to the best people of my life, who have been there through thick and thin. I love you guys.

Almost Weigh In Time

When In doubt eat mac and cheese? yes, I believe this in everyway possible. Today I sat down with my mac and cheese. Looked at my wonderful family and put a plan together. We were going on a walk. We decided on a national Park. My husband, Zeke, Lori, the wagon, and I decided to go on a 5 mile walk. Perfect. Even helps mommy (me) closer to losing weight. Excited to be off on our journey, sippies in hand and smiles on our faces.

I grew up in a family that every year we walked this place. All day just enjoying time with each other or as we got older Mom and David would walk while my brother and I went a head.Found creative ways to tell them which way we went. We may have not done a whole lot of things together but this was one of those things I loved. David's family had never been there together. I went there for as long as I could remember back in the day there was a very scary bridge. Rope holding on either side and wooden planks...ugh so scared of heights and while I walked across my brother shook the bridge. I went and started screaming crying I was 5...this bridge disappeared when I was like 10. Thank God! I would probably still slowly cross it today.

It was fantastic day to walk fast across the walking trail. We were almost in what we called Lord of the Rings Land..you expected to see a nymph or elf...for how green and breathtaking the view is. The White tailed deer with fawns were everywhere! Zeke was saying "Deer Deer, Mommy. DEER!" Adorable. Lorilye was so excited to be surrounded by nature. The last 2 miles we let them out of the wagon to run and just be themselves. Lorilye picked up a stick and would use it as a walking stick...but If David walked to far a head of her. She would cross her arms and stand there angrily until he can back for her. Zeke and I would run(while he pulled the wagon) down the lane. He has so much energy and loves being so active!

So this brings the big picture..my goals! Still in full force. Next week, in fact Next Monday is weigh in time. This time bring so many emotions. Not knowing whether to cry or jump up and down in excitement. Hard work has paided off I already know that but this week is going to be extreme. Every day will start easily at 5ish dog walking time! Get home see the hubby off to work. Then there will be nothing bad in my body this week. Nothing besides healthy portions, fruit and veggies..Working out Burn It Up for an hour and then.....David and I have Saturday and Sunday off as working parents! I will be worried out of my mind but we haven't had an official break since Junish...for wills wedding. So who knows what Saturday will bring...but Sunday we will be going to a national park and walking the longest trail 16 miles...straight no stops Hopefully some running...Lots of water and nutrigrain :) Great finish to be a graduate in Slim in 6.

Supreme 90 is on its way here....I cannot wait. 90 days of full commitment. 90 days of full on changes! 90 days of pushing myself to somewhere I know I will be. Changes that are 100% worth it! Slim in 6 was commitment for 42 days. <3 <3 <3

New Birdie

Day 9: Starting Saturday

5:30 a.m. : Going for a run 30 min. with Kaya 30 min with Mailee
6:30 a.m. : Take Multivitamins and Immune vitamins
7:00 a.m. : Do Burn It Up! (an hour)
3:00 p.m. : Ride Bike for an hour

No fast food, Ice cream is my weakness...unless a salad...but not a filled with shit salad gross
No sweets, nothing sugar...which is okay..

Bed by 11:00pm

Tons of vegetables and fruit.

Next 2 weeks to finish Burn It Up...which lead to Week 7!