A little Vain...aren't I

I have tried all in all never to be Vain. But in fact I falter.

Take this as you will I do not look at others and judge. Judging is for the people who truly see people how the want to see them. Not getting to know them first. By my outward appearance I have thick thighs, still have birthing hips and some stomach. I acquired this body after having 2 kids..almost a year and 2 weeks apart. I also have boobs...that seem to peek out whenever they can. I have e or triple d's there honestly is nothing I can do. I have on occasion all kinds of colors in my hair..at the moment it is blood Red. Last week it was Orange, Brown and Blonde. I think 2 weeks before that it was black..It defines my moods. But wearing T-shirts with Emo print, wearing very Victorian style clothes, having lines, stripes, stars, Gir, Electric green, Pink, Black...that is me. I also have a display of 32 loving scars from cutting in my teenage years. (Liking the feel and pain of it, NOT wanting to kill Myself.You would be surprised on how many people even knew I cut)

Does all this equal an unfit mother? In the eyes of some, yes. I remember going into labor with my son and the nurse asking me about my scars and how I was going to deal with stress. I just simply looked at her and said"Those are my past, they remind me simply of who I am." My daughter is constantly in dresses and very cute clothes. She has the hugest Anime-eyes you have ever seen. My son can currently count to 10, knows all his letters, and says almost every word. Go in their rooms and you will see some spoiled children and to put it simply they barley play with their toys at all. I love them more than life. I love reading to them, being with them, sleeping, cuddling, all the best things of being a mother.

Judging is something I may not do to others but to myself I cannot be that nice. I get up everyday and stand in front of the mirror..rubbing my bio-oil on my stretch marks. They are lightning..it also has been 3 weeks and the minimum is 3 months. I judge every inch of my body. I am painfully aware of my entire existence of muscles and tendons. I have moved up to 8 lb weights. I am working on day 7 of supreme 90 and it is one of those things you have gone to far to stop but your body at times wishes for the pain to stop. I have not been on my scale in over two months and last time I checked I had lost 35 pounds. So I guess I can be very vain about myself. I deserve to be. Plus I love buying new clothes.

We all have our faults..lets all just judge ourselves before judging others.... But its okay to be vain when you work so hard for it and ..oh yeah I am very arrogant most of the time