How I deal with things ...I pretty much push the problem and things/people around it away. This time it is David's Family once again. Again they have made me regret trying to forgive them for the first things. His family are the kinda people that want to talk about things...but only when the talking is too late. Hmmm...Too late. So at this time David is mad as well. Ironic. The nicest guy that people know and he is ready to give them up. I am walking away with their grandchildren and not looking back.
I get I am hard headed and stubborn. But to go behind my back to do something that pertains to us...well duh I am pissed. I even wrote I don't really want to talk about it. I don't. I want to walk away and act like they don't exist. Why? Because its who I am. Its my defense mechanize. When I get confronted or even in the explanation of why something preventable happens. I have a very very bad temper. I compare it to a little kid who blows up and everyone around just wants to walk away.I tend to attack when in a corner. Vicious bringing up everything and spitting it back. I am completely aware of my bad habit. Hence why I try not to get angry. I hate hurting people. My temper use to be tons worst starting from 6-8th grade and then my freshman year after almost getting suspended I just lost it. I cured it to a point that was manageable. Not Perfect but I have to be pushed, pushed and then I explode. Guilty. This time just like last time it was all on them.
We are moving into our beautiful house tomorrow. Starting my life over. The only people I need our my family and my parents/grandparents. Plus my loving friends. Do I hurt. Sure. But a little distance crushes the bridges and all they can do is blame themselves. So tomorrow is the big day. We move and this nightmare can end.
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