Help me understand who you are

You're so beautiful
But that's not why I love you
I'm not sure you know
That the reason I love you, is you
Being you, just you
Yea the reason I love you
Is all that we've been through
And that's why I love you

lala, lalalala, lala, lalala

I like the way you misbehave
When we get wasted
But that's not why I love you
And how you keep your cool when I am complicated
But that's not why I love you, hey

I adore this song by Avril Lavigne. One line sticks out so much. " And you keep your cool when I am complicated" Every time I think of how calm David keeps me. In 2007 we went to Kings Island and got on a ride. Leaving my tinkerbell purse in the bin, which had 60$, my card, earrings,card,glasses, and much more. We got off the ride. Everything was gone. While we are waiting for the Cops. I was throwing up. Ended up being my red slushy they thought it was blood. I had to go on the little med. thing. Really annoyed. David was so calm. 2 weeks later I got all my stuff back except the money and our cell phones. Bummer. But he kept me so calm. He spent that night cuddling and telling me it would be okay. How much he loved me. It was amazing.

"You said hey whats your name"

Last night after all my friends "Drama" not with me but boyfriend problems. I had to clear my mind..and soul. I took a three hour walk until midnight. Destroyed my fears of walking down the pathway and down county road 13. Pitch Black. Honestly, I dont think half the time I saw anything. Not even my arms. Sometimes my brain needs utter isolation and darkness to clear up. It makes me feel so safe. " Sometimes I don't understand whats going on inside my brain" That is an understatement. It feels their are destructive layers, passive layers, anger layers, music layers, and many more. It like oh, a great day, what can I do to destroy it. Any dreams I have are probably the most adrenaline packed dream`s and scariest movies you have ever seen. I don't even know why. I have seen ghosts or apparitions they don't even terrify me. Put me in my dreams and watch me suffer. Most gruesome, horrid things. Sometimes a lot of it takes in the past medieval times. It is like I am having memories from a past life. Weird as that is, it feel true. Regardless if it is or not Creepy dreams.

I have worked so hard the last couple days..and let me tell you my back upper back is feeling some burn. Okay really bad Omg burn. I decided This month I am training for 30 day shred. If I complete 30 days of that next month I am buying insantity. Why else I am Insane lol. My sister- in law did it and she looks great. Whoo! Hard work!!!