Every Pound is a part of the Past

My motivation is bound deep inside of me. Today I fit in a pair of pants that I had while I was pregnant with Zeke. That makes me excited as hell. My ring that I got for our anniversary, is starting to fall off my finger. Shocking. Progress has been made! Well the pictures show that know don't they. Working my butt off and proudly doing it. I may not be able to see my damn scale, but currently I am seeing the results.

Once skinny and working my butt off to be the person I was before. On Sunday it will be the start of my 4th week! 4 weeks of sticking to my workout. The 4th week starts the incredibly hard next 3 weeks. Even in the video, her back up workout people are stopping to wipe themselves off and taking water breaks. It is bad. But the last 3 weeks have prepared me for it. Ramp It Up was hard before, but now it was easy. So Burn It Up, Ironically the name explains it all.

I think this is so much easier for me because I remember what it felt like to be skinny. I crave it, I want it, I want it so bad. It is like a drug that needs to be satisfied. Nothing will stop me in this quest. The adventure, the journey is too strong to let go.

Last Month I hit my rock bottom, I did something that broke me. Broke my values and Morals with just a single hand gesture. But my friends understood and my husband forgave me. I was gave a clean slate to start my life over again. Have a beautiful marriage, lovely friends, and Perfect(absolutely far from it) life. Its been a month with my due over and I am adoring it. Positive attitudes, lets the past melt. I have acquired a new taste for being the best I can be. I am attracting new friends and starting to like who I am. My clothes are fitting better,and my personality is coming back.

It took "me" to hit rockbottom. It took me 5 years to destroy my hard work to understand myself. I let go and grew stronger. Clear mind and free of the closet monsters. The losing weight has made me let go of so much. Every pound I imagine is a part of the past. I am destroying it all. October 1st is a lot closer than I keep believing.

Julian Casablanca:

I wish it was Christmas today
I wish it was Christmas today, oh, oh
I wish it was Christmas today
I wish it was Christmas today, oh, oh
All I know is that Santa Claus
Don't care about breaking or applying laws
I wish it was, wish it was,
Wish it was, wish it was, oh