Gasp are those shrunken hips...and stomach..ohh gasp! Wait my boobs are the same size...dammit!
I am dreading that scale....so so so so much. I do not know what I am scare of...I have accomplished making xl look huge on me. Large is the size I am at. My boobs haven't shrunk any but I still have hope. The shirt above I haven't wore in over a year! It fits...It fits...It Fits. Things in my closet I haven't seen since pregnant with Zeke are fitting. Why am I letting this plastic expensive piece of insignificant scale..control my thoughts. I am scare of this number...more scared than I have ever been about anything in my life....One thing is last time I weighed myself...I was 219. A number 23 pounds lost signified. For me that made me cry for an hour. I sat on my bathroom and bawled my eyes out. Crying is rare for me. I just couldn't believe that I ...me did this.
I cannot imagine...what 210 pounds could signify..or putting my hopes up high..to 200. I don't expect to lose 19 pounds in 6 weeks but just that thought boggles my mind...Even 5 pounds I will be excited for. My arms are getting stronger and this shirt use to be tight on my arms..it is not anymore. It is not tight anywear.My pants are looking huge and falling off. It is amazing. Amazing that I am doing this.
I may be doing this for myself. But I dedicate this to every one making this journey with me, or just starting. I also do this for my husband he met me when I was skinny and I am giving him that. I will prove to be a fit mom for my children. I am starting to tear up writing this. This journey is so emotional for me. This is me! THIS IS WHO I AM! This is me! By the end of this I will be losing over a 100+ pounds! When I hit my goal weight..I will put this journey on my body...a tattoo along with my scars to remind me where I am not going to be again. I will never never never..be this big again..I can guarantee it. 5 more days of Slim in 6 and lots more walking on the trails we hit another 3 miles!
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